Mary Sue and the Rollercoaster of Doom
by talkingcrazy
Summary: Mary Sue Parody loses her Aunt and Uncle in a freak accident, and has to come and live in the UK.
1. Introducing Mary Sue Parody

Disclaimer: Harry Potter, his fellow characters and Hogwarts belong to JK Rowling and Warner Brothers. And since I haven't even written about them yet, litigation is not yet an option. However, Mary Sue Parody and her family and friends belong to me.   
  
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Mary Sue Parody shook her long, silky,radient, long, incandescant, radient, silky, long silver hair out of her sparkling azure eyes. They glowed as she looked around the tiny closet that served as her bedroom in the seventy-five bedroom mansion that belonged to her Aunt and Uncle. It was lucky that, despite being tall, she was so slim, since her closet had gotten a lot smaller since her Uncle had bricked half of it up. It had amazed Mary Sue how he had manged to brick up the entire area in front of her door in the middle of the night without being heard. The only way she could get in and out now was to apperate.  
  
Her face lit up with a smile as she thought about the first day of school at the Pasadena Institute for Sorcerers and Soceresses. She would be entering her sixth year there, and there were many wonderful adventures to be had. There was a month to go before that day arrived, but she decided that the time could be put to good use - she would try to find a cure for lycanthropy. Mary Sue was the only witch from her school allowed to use magic out of school, but following an incident where she had saved the entire falculty, two bunny rabbits and a goldfish from certain death in the form of an illegal experimental curse, the President for Magic had recognized that Mary Sue possessed powers of judgement and magical ability far surpassing any rational adult. She was therefore given a special dispensation to use magic out of school for the good of wizardkind, and control of the entire state of Texas.  
  
She just wished that her Aunt, Uncle and Cousin, the only family she had left, could understand. They all hated her because they were jealous of her goddess-like beauty, beside which their skin imperfections, weight problems and character flaws could only appear more hideous. They couldn't accept that she was a witch, still less that she was the most talented and powerful witches of her generation, and they had always told her that her parents had died in a freak rollercoaster accident. Mary Sue knew this to be a tissue of lies. She knew her parents had died fighting the most evil wizard in the world, and it was her one ambition to avenge their deaths. Little did Mary Sue know that her Aunt and Uncle, despite their character flaws, were scrupulously honest, and the only way to avenge her parent's no less tragic deaths was to find a good lawyer and sue the fairground. This her Aunt and Uncle had already done, hence the mansion.  
  
"Get up! Get up now!" Her Aunt's harsh voice woke her out of her reverie. "You have to clean the whole mansion and the swimming pool before breakfast." Mary Sue pulled on some clothes, last season hand-me-downs from her cousin. They always looked good on her, no matter how revolting they were. Her best friend, Gabby Prue, had always said that Mary Sue could wear sack cloth and it would only accentuate her undying perfection. She apperated out of her closet, and started cleaning.  
  
Fifteen minutes later Mary Sue was eating her breakfast. She had cleaned the mansion and the swimming pool with the help of telekinetic powers that she had only just now realised that she possessed. They could probably be useful to her in her adventures at school, she decided.  
  
"Mary Sue! Do you ever listen?" Her Aunt's harsh voice woke her out of her reverie. "We're going to the fairground to celebrate little Annie's sixteenth birthday, so don't touch any of our stuff, and while we're gone, I want you to compose a violin concerto to mark the occassion. Got it?"  
  
"Yes Aunt Selma." Mary Sue said while calculating how long it would take her to learn the violin.  
  
"Good." Her Aunts harsh voice proclaimed, waking her out of her reverie."Put that Vogue down, Annie, we're going to the fairground. The rollercoaster there is one of the best in the world."  
  
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More coming soon...... 


	2. The Mysterious Aunt

Again the disclaimer: Harry Potter and Hogwarts belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Please don't sue me. All original characters including Mary Sue Parody and her family beong to me.  
  
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Mary Sue suddenly sensed great danger. "Aunt Selma, don't go!"  
  
"Shut up girl. Just because you're jealous doesn't mean you can spoil little Annikin's day by shouting." And Aunt Selma slammed the door behind her so hard that every other door in the house fell off its hinges.  
  
Half an hour later,after she had found hitherto undiscovered talents for both composition, violin playing and carpentry, Mary Sue sat down in the highly advanced potions lab she had constucted in a corner of her closet from three soup cans, a washing up liquid bottle, and some sticky backed plastic. She desperately wanted to find a potion to bring about world peace, but she was horribly afraid that, even with her wonderful and unprecedented powers, it would still take her a little longer than ten minutes.  
  
She had just reached a vital point in her experiment when she heard the doorbell ring. She apparated downstairs and opened the door to a woman wearing long purple robes and a witch's hat. The witch turned from examining the dollar sign shaped doorbell.  
  
"Um, hi. Are you Mary Sue Parody?" Her voice, Mary Sue recognized, was something like her own - the enchanting music of a thousand heavenly harps. It was only marred by (Mary thought) a somewhat ugly British accent.  
  
"Yes, I am. Who are you?"  
  
"Oh. I'm your other aunt, Linaya Parody, your Father's sister who hasn't seen you since your parents died." She said. "Look, I've just found out that your Aunt, Uncle and Cousin Annie have all been horribly decapitated in a freak rollercoaster accident, so I've come to take you to live with me in England and have wonderful adventures."  
  
"I knew something awful was going to happen to them if they went out!" Mary Sue cried.  
  
"Yes. Well it's very likely that you're pre-cogniscant, you know. Your Father was."  
  
"Wow. I never knew!"  
  
"I know. Have you discovered your aptitude for telekinesis and carpentry yet?"  
  
"Just this morning!"  
  
"These things tend to manifest themselves in impossibly beautiful girls of sixteen who have previously had difficult lives. I myself found that I had a rather unusual knack for setting peoples' hair alight." She said, happily. "Came in terribly useful at university."  
  
"Oh. Um, If I go to England, how will I get to school?" asked Mary Sue.  
  
"Well, of course it would be easier and more convenient for everybody if you simply apparated across the Atlantic and stayed at the school you currently attend. But I've decided that it would be much more useful to the plot if you attended Hogwarts and tried to reform everybody there."  
  
"Excellent!"  
  
"I know. Aren't I wonderful? I always was, you know. You'll get on quite well at Hogwarts, and you needn't worry about the Houses, since there's one been created especially to hold the recent influx of new girls, exchange students and long lost relatives of current staff and those people connected to Harry Potter. Oh, and I'll always be around to help you, since I'm conveniently going to be the new Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor there."  
  
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Next up. Mary Sue arrives at Hogwarts.. 


End file.
